Well--here I am back again after a very long time. Valentines day is coming up--have you purchased your empty gesture yet? If you are lucky you have someone who will be satisfied with a cheesy pair of pajamas in a lavender box, or a badly dressed teddy bear, both of which are available replete with the promise that it will look as if your gift was thoughtfully chosen--regardless of whether it really was or not. If you are unlucky you will have to place yourself at the mercy of a greedy GPS unit, which will guide you to a store where you can dump a crapload of cash on something that will be cold comfort to the recipient when your relationship has collapsed.
Yes, this is very cynical. I know there are people who give expensive gifts and jewelry as a REAL expression of the depth of their emotion--but we are constantly encouraged to give ONLY the gift and let the emotion slide.
Here's a concept--on the day when we celebrate LOVE, why not give LOVE itself.
Of course--this means defining what love is. Songwriters have gotten paychecks for centuries trying to explain exactly this to people--you would think with all that harmonious information coming at us we would have figured it out by now. Here is what I have come to believe:
I believe there are two kinds of love. I have experienced both in my life, and have decided that there is only one type that is worthwhile.
Some people come to love you because of who you are.
Some people come to believe they have to love you in spite of what you are not.
One of these loves is unconditional. It emulates the love of the Divine--and comes from the Divine center that resides in us all.
The other kind of love is utterly human. It is based on social mores and judgements, and is a type of love that demoralizes. It is love, and can be self sacrificing and filled with kindness, but it is based on a judgement, and a condemnation of who we are as people. Often it is given with the expectation of fulfilling a need of the giver, with no real sense of the person who receives it at all.
People say you have to love yourself before you can love others. I suppose this is true--but I also believe that if you can find this Divine love within yourself and send it out into the world, the self love you seek will begin to flourish on its own. Its very hard to do. We all have our egos and predispositions that get in the way of this--our lives are really a journey towards perfecting this love that comes BECAUSE, not DESPITE. It is a choice between finding things in people that lift us up because of their undeniable beauty, and finding things that raise us up by letting us step up on their backs. We come into and leave this world utterly alone--except for the presence of the ability to love that resides within us. By letting the shining beauty of this Divine love flow through our spirit, we move within a society of other shining beacons--whether we are here on this earth or someplace else.
Friday, February 12, 2010
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Holy books, batman!
here's a true confession--i watch joyce meyer on tv. the lady evangelist. i have been attracted to her teaching for many years because of her sincerity and the simplicity of her message. a friend of mine calls her "the Christian 12 step program".
am i some kind of fundamentalist bible thumping maniac that homeland security has now issued a blanket "watch list" about? no. i don't attend church and i don't witness my faith to people, other than to live and treat people in a way that is harmonious with my beliefs. i believe there is a God and i believe that Jesus was a divine figure. get over it.
back to my point--many years ago when joyce was on the tube she was talking about how people should read the Bible. got me thinking. i had been brought up in a church and slept dutifully through my little confirmation classes but basically other than remembering some of the names of the books in the bible, the ten commandments and a few cliff notes on the teachings of Jesus, i didn't know anything about it. it struck me as kind of stupid that i lived in a country the foundations of whose current government were based on a book i knew nothing about. so i poked around and found my old Bible that had been given to me when i joined my church (funny how we can ignore a holy book but can't bring ourselves to throw it in the trash, isn't it?) and set about the task. i actually ended up reading it twice. it was a kind of life changing experience--but not in some big flashy revelatory way. more like something that slowly seeped into my head over a period of time. a lot of it was esoteric gobbledeygook to me--i just kept reading. the prophets were weird beyond belief and i understood very little of what was written beyond the fact that at some point Elijah went flying through the air (in a UFO if you are of the Roswellian crowd) and John the Divine (i think thats who it was) saw a bunch of totally freaky things that had lots of heads and swords and seals and stuff; which would ultimately prove very inspiring to charles manson.
and some of the Bible is about as compelling as the manhattan phone directory--which is basically what the book of Numbers is. its a census--and reading it is about as enjoyable as hitting your thumb with a hammer. Leviticus is sort of like spending a day in a law library reading all the rules and regs. Genesis and Exodus are pretty interesting and accessible--Adam and Eve, Abraham and Issac--Moses, the plagues, Pharoh and all that stuff. Thanks to Charlton Heston thats all pretty easy to figure out.
The amazing thing was, when i finally got to the end of it, the Bible was more than a book. there is a symmetry of theme that runs throughout it that is deep and full of mystery. while i didn't understand all the stuff that was in the Bible--i came away from reading it through understanding the POWER of the document to influence people's lives.
We all know the story of the life of Christ--born in a manger--behold, halleluia and all that jazz--throws a fit in a church, pisses off a bunch of politicians (basically the religious leaders) who get a roman guy to do their dirty work for them so they can get rid of him. the roman guy could care less--he just wants the politicians to shut up and leave him alone so he can go eat some pizza or something--so he does what they want. what is this guy to him? nobody famous, nobody who can do him any favors--and if the guy is gone he can write in his next report to rome that all is quiet on the Jewish front. and the guy himself seems resigned to his fate, so whats the big deal. let's light this candle and get things over with. so they beat him up good first, have some sadistic fun at his expense (too bad TV wasn't around--everybody could have had a lot more vicarious violence and Jesus could have taken a bus to Golgotha) and execute him in a singularly grisly way that wasn't anything atypical at the time.
but something happened to me when i actually read the story from beginning to end, and in the context of everything that i had read in the Bible up to that point. I CRIED. I couldn't put it down. the tragedy of the moment suddenly came home to me in a way i had never appreciated before. i suddenly understood the meaning of that one life. the power of a single person to effect great change, and the consequences that can befall people like that. the incredible beauty that comes with a willingness to sacrifice everything you have--even your life--for the greater good, and the terrible loss that befalls all of us when someone who is genuinely willing to do that is asked to carry it through.
whether you believe the rest of the story as a literal truth or not is your own business. but i believe that the story as a whole shows us that it is possible to live a transcendant life. that this person spent his time on this earth as a living example of how that can be done. and it wasn't just the New Testament that made me understand this--it was HOW the story fit within the context of the entire book. People refer to the Bible sometimes as a living work--and I understand what that means now. and its something i can't explain--you have to experience it yourself.
Someday i want to read other Holy Books. i have read a translation of the Dao and came away with the same kind of feeling. i believe that these Holy books are not written just by people, but by people whose hands and minds were guided by a source beyond their mundane lives and existance. most people in the creative arts experience this kind of "guidance" at rare times in their lives. i have felt it myself a couple times--enough to know that it truly is there--regardless of where you think it actually comes from--it does exist. the Bible was written by many people, and compiled by committees of other people who may or may not have been inspired. but the sheer mystery of the story survives by virtue of its magnitude if nothing else.
so i encourage you to read it--not to be converted or anything--just to experience it.
after reading it you may decide to learn more about the book itself at that point--i was curious so i got a little book that explains the history of the Bible itself--how it came to be. it enhanced my knowledge of the history of the book, but it didn't really change how i experienced its message.
if its the right time for you personally to do this, you will see this post and begin. have a safe journey.
am i some kind of fundamentalist bible thumping maniac that homeland security has now issued a blanket "watch list" about? no. i don't attend church and i don't witness my faith to people, other than to live and treat people in a way that is harmonious with my beliefs. i believe there is a God and i believe that Jesus was a divine figure. get over it.
back to my point--many years ago when joyce was on the tube she was talking about how people should read the Bible. got me thinking. i had been brought up in a church and slept dutifully through my little confirmation classes but basically other than remembering some of the names of the books in the bible, the ten commandments and a few cliff notes on the teachings of Jesus, i didn't know anything about it. it struck me as kind of stupid that i lived in a country the foundations of whose current government were based on a book i knew nothing about. so i poked around and found my old Bible that had been given to me when i joined my church (funny how we can ignore a holy book but can't bring ourselves to throw it in the trash, isn't it?) and set about the task. i actually ended up reading it twice. it was a kind of life changing experience--but not in some big flashy revelatory way. more like something that slowly seeped into my head over a period of time. a lot of it was esoteric gobbledeygook to me--i just kept reading. the prophets were weird beyond belief and i understood very little of what was written beyond the fact that at some point Elijah went flying through the air (in a UFO if you are of the Roswellian crowd) and John the Divine (i think thats who it was) saw a bunch of totally freaky things that had lots of heads and swords and seals and stuff; which would ultimately prove very inspiring to charles manson.
and some of the Bible is about as compelling as the manhattan phone directory--which is basically what the book of Numbers is. its a census--and reading it is about as enjoyable as hitting your thumb with a hammer. Leviticus is sort of like spending a day in a law library reading all the rules and regs. Genesis and Exodus are pretty interesting and accessible--Adam and Eve, Abraham and Issac--Moses, the plagues, Pharoh and all that stuff. Thanks to Charlton Heston thats all pretty easy to figure out.
The amazing thing was, when i finally got to the end of it, the Bible was more than a book. there is a symmetry of theme that runs throughout it that is deep and full of mystery. while i didn't understand all the stuff that was in the Bible--i came away from reading it through understanding the POWER of the document to influence people's lives.
We all know the story of the life of Christ--born in a manger--behold, halleluia and all that jazz--throws a fit in a church, pisses off a bunch of politicians (basically the religious leaders) who get a roman guy to do their dirty work for them so they can get rid of him. the roman guy could care less--he just wants the politicians to shut up and leave him alone so he can go eat some pizza or something--so he does what they want. what is this guy to him? nobody famous, nobody who can do him any favors--and if the guy is gone he can write in his next report to rome that all is quiet on the Jewish front. and the guy himself seems resigned to his fate, so whats the big deal. let's light this candle and get things over with. so they beat him up good first, have some sadistic fun at his expense (too bad TV wasn't around--everybody could have had a lot more vicarious violence and Jesus could have taken a bus to Golgotha) and execute him in a singularly grisly way that wasn't anything atypical at the time.
but something happened to me when i actually read the story from beginning to end, and in the context of everything that i had read in the Bible up to that point. I CRIED. I couldn't put it down. the tragedy of the moment suddenly came home to me in a way i had never appreciated before. i suddenly understood the meaning of that one life. the power of a single person to effect great change, and the consequences that can befall people like that. the incredible beauty that comes with a willingness to sacrifice everything you have--even your life--for the greater good, and the terrible loss that befalls all of us when someone who is genuinely willing to do that is asked to carry it through.
whether you believe the rest of the story as a literal truth or not is your own business. but i believe that the story as a whole shows us that it is possible to live a transcendant life. that this person spent his time on this earth as a living example of how that can be done. and it wasn't just the New Testament that made me understand this--it was HOW the story fit within the context of the entire book. People refer to the Bible sometimes as a living work--and I understand what that means now. and its something i can't explain--you have to experience it yourself.
Someday i want to read other Holy Books. i have read a translation of the Dao and came away with the same kind of feeling. i believe that these Holy books are not written just by people, but by people whose hands and minds were guided by a source beyond their mundane lives and existance. most people in the creative arts experience this kind of "guidance" at rare times in their lives. i have felt it myself a couple times--enough to know that it truly is there--regardless of where you think it actually comes from--it does exist. the Bible was written by many people, and compiled by committees of other people who may or may not have been inspired. but the sheer mystery of the story survives by virtue of its magnitude if nothing else.
so i encourage you to read it--not to be converted or anything--just to experience it.
after reading it you may decide to learn more about the book itself at that point--i was curious so i got a little book that explains the history of the Bible itself--how it came to be. it enhanced my knowledge of the history of the book, but it didn't really change how i experienced its message.
if its the right time for you personally to do this, you will see this post and begin. have a safe journey.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
the lady with the voice
Its been all over the internet, and if you are connected to the world by any medium you know about her--Susan Boyle--the Scottish singer who has taken the world by storm. She opened her mouth and touched a chord that reverberates in all of us. Why? That is an extremely powerful thing--companies spend billions trying to get that response from people--and yet here is this little lady with nothing going for her on the outside who does it just by virtue of being herself. Part of it is the internet and television, which made it possible for a great many people to participate in this moment of epiphany. But that simply reflects the number of people who experienced it, and not the power of the moment itself.
I have read a fair amount of analysis of this event over the last few days and I think a lot of people may be missing the boat. Yes its true that you can't judge a book by its cover. Yes its true that we love an underdog. I think it goes deeper than that. I think that people are starving for authenticity. I think we are downhearted and discouraged when we see the plastic, dishonest, unconscionable among us elevated to the heights of social hierarchy when they don't deserve it and have no ability or intention to live up to any kind of lofty expectations other than their own opinion of themselves. We see the effects of hubris gone rampant and fear the consequences of having let huge amounts of power over us, over others and over our world slip into the hands of people so obviously unworthy of that trust. We may fall for flowery rhetoric, or go along with the winks and nods as people destroy our very foundations for their own gain, but we KNOW in our hearts that what is truly valuable is honesty and humility. TELLING THE TRUTH.
Susan stood on that stage without any pretense. She wanted to be a professional singer and she said so. Her nervousness was apparent, but she controlled it. She stood and faced the skepticism and ridicule that came from the people "in the know". I am sure she knows what she looks like--and I am sure she has faced the same kind of ridicule or worse many times in her life. And yet through love for her mother she packed her bags and WENT--not knowing what would happen. Yes she had survived one regional audition before that--but I suspect that was a lot less intimidating than this performance. She stood on that stage, KNOWING what was possible within her and let the negative attitude that came at her like a wave hit her with all its destructive force.
Then she opened her mouth and all was forgotten.
An audience of snide, skeptical and shallow people suddenly became her friends. People instantly loved her and (this is what matters here) were THRILLED to love her. That is what we need to remember about this moment. People fell in love with Susan because that is what they had wanted to do all along. It is what we all want to do. We need to remember this moment and how it made us feel for the rest of our lives. For me, watching the little drama unfold to its triumphant end, the beauty was twofold--both in the person and voice of this woman, AND in the beautiful true kindness and love she uncovered in the hearts of all those people at that moment.
People can be brutal and cruel and awful to each other--but the truth is--we really don't want to be. It takes a person of true humility to stand before us--ready for the punishment we are capable of meting out to bring us eye to eye with the beauty of the human spirit. No one could fake what Susan was or did. It was pure and real. It was what we are yearning for.
My personal belief is that Susan appeared before the world because she was something we need to see NOW. And I thank her for her life, her courage, her voice and her beauty.
I have read a fair amount of analysis of this event over the last few days and I think a lot of people may be missing the boat. Yes its true that you can't judge a book by its cover. Yes its true that we love an underdog. I think it goes deeper than that. I think that people are starving for authenticity. I think we are downhearted and discouraged when we see the plastic, dishonest, unconscionable among us elevated to the heights of social hierarchy when they don't deserve it and have no ability or intention to live up to any kind of lofty expectations other than their own opinion of themselves. We see the effects of hubris gone rampant and fear the consequences of having let huge amounts of power over us, over others and over our world slip into the hands of people so obviously unworthy of that trust. We may fall for flowery rhetoric, or go along with the winks and nods as people destroy our very foundations for their own gain, but we KNOW in our hearts that what is truly valuable is honesty and humility. TELLING THE TRUTH.
Susan stood on that stage without any pretense. She wanted to be a professional singer and she said so. Her nervousness was apparent, but she controlled it. She stood and faced the skepticism and ridicule that came from the people "in the know". I am sure she knows what she looks like--and I am sure she has faced the same kind of ridicule or worse many times in her life. And yet through love for her mother she packed her bags and WENT--not knowing what would happen. Yes she had survived one regional audition before that--but I suspect that was a lot less intimidating than this performance. She stood on that stage, KNOWING what was possible within her and let the negative attitude that came at her like a wave hit her with all its destructive force.
Then she opened her mouth and all was forgotten.
An audience of snide, skeptical and shallow people suddenly became her friends. People instantly loved her and (this is what matters here) were THRILLED to love her. That is what we need to remember about this moment. People fell in love with Susan because that is what they had wanted to do all along. It is what we all want to do. We need to remember this moment and how it made us feel for the rest of our lives. For me, watching the little drama unfold to its triumphant end, the beauty was twofold--both in the person and voice of this woman, AND in the beautiful true kindness and love she uncovered in the hearts of all those people at that moment.
People can be brutal and cruel and awful to each other--but the truth is--we really don't want to be. It takes a person of true humility to stand before us--ready for the punishment we are capable of meting out to bring us eye to eye with the beauty of the human spirit. No one could fake what Susan was or did. It was pure and real. It was what we are yearning for.
My personal belief is that Susan appeared before the world because she was something we need to see NOW. And I thank her for her life, her courage, her voice and her beauty.
Monday, April 6, 2009
on telling and being told
So this is weird. I have been thinking a lot lately about the need to "DO THE RIGHT THING". That's why I started writing this blog. Now the other night I see a new commerical on TV for some insurance company. the theme of the commercial is--guess what--DO THE RIGHT THING. Guess there are lots of people to whom this idea has occurred lately. Anyway--seeing this ad got me to thinking--what is THE RIGHT THING. how do you decide? That leads me to something we are seeing more of in this country and it really disturbs me. that is a growing number of people deciding for us what constitutes the RIGHT THING. i have a problem with this that is many faceted. first off--if someone is trying to push me into a set kind of behaviour--i don't doubt for a minute that they have a vested interest in wrenching the behaviour from me. the problem is--they won't tell me what that vested interest is. will they profit financially from me doing something? will some of their family members, or people who can return the favor to them get something out of my willingness to be told? or will they just gain some sense of smug satisfaction from being the "person in charge" or from forcing a set of beliefs on someone else. so when someone tells me to do what they consider to be the RIGHT THING, before i act upon their mandate, i have to run it through my own internal filter first, because i can't trust that they are acting in my best interest--or in the best interest of anyone but themselves. this is just human nature--you have to be a realist and accept that. its not a judgemental statement--its just the TRUTH.
now--a great many things masquerade to us as THE RIGHT THING. the people that live in that cult in texas convinced themselves that it is right for old men to marry and impregnate teenage girls. they have twisted their religious beliefs to accomodate a form of brutality and pedophilia. terrorists think it is the RIGHT THING to pass judgement on and kill people they have never met and know nothing about. the fact that they kill themselves in the process is supposed to make this act okay. politicians think it is the RIGHT THING to tell us all how they think we should behave and pretend that they behave in this way themselves. apparently winking and nodding at us while they engage in behaviours they know is wrong excuses them somehow. if they show us they know it is wrong then that makes them good people.
well it doesn't work that way.
if you want to be a good person--do it and forget about how you can go about making other people into good people too. i remember seeing a sign on the cable car in san franciso--home of the free spirited, unchained beautiful people. the sign told me that if an old person got on the cable car and i didn't stand up to give them my seat i would be fined.
now i am all in favor of standing up and giving my seat to an older person--and i would gladly do it because it is the RIGHT THING. and if i do this in front of other people i serve as a living example of how to act on a cable car. they can then follow this example without being told by someone who (for all i know) has probably never ridden a cable car in their life--or has never given up a seat to an older person and simply wants to exercise their power by dictating a kind of behaviour. While this is an innocuous thing--and certainly a good idea--it pushes the door open to regulating other behaviours. i saw it all over San Francisco--the home of the free spirits and unconfined wonderful people. rules everywhere. i must do the RIGHT THING as it is interpreted by people whose moral compass is completely unknown to me. maybe some crabby old person who is perfectly capable of standing but is too lazy to stand up on the cable car got that law passed. maybe some councilman was trying to increase tax revenue to the city figured there are a lot of rude people riding the cable car and this is easier than ticketing speeders. i don't know. and thats the point. you DON'T KNOW. but each time we mutely accept directives from others as to how we should DO THE RIGHT THING we let a piece of our personal power to direct our own lives slip away and that power slides neatly into their hands instead.
but we have to careful--how do we decide on THE RIGHT THING. its not that hard--its called a conscience. you remember that word. we all had one once. but we have been told and shown in living pictures (TV) that conscience is a sliding scale that we can alter to accomodate our lives. here's a newsflash--thats not true. you know when you do wrong. you may try to convince yourself its right by twising a phrase in the Bible, Koran, or Talmud or by putting the blame for your own bad behaviour on someone else (the naughty bankers told me i could afford to buy this house) or by doing drugs or drinking or having sex too much to push the feelings away. but they are there for a reason--your conscience is there for a reason. it is essential for our survival as a species that we live within a society--especially now that our society has become so diverse and complicated. so your conscience isn't going away--no matter how hard you try to leave it running along behind you like a dumped dog chasing its owner's car. if you go against it, it will find a way to punish you. why not make friends with it instead--and put it where it belongs--in the drivers seat of your behaviour. in order to DO THE RIGHT THING you have to decide for yourself, within the text of your life, your experience and your own best nature--what THE RIGHT THING IS.
now--a great many things masquerade to us as THE RIGHT THING. the people that live in that cult in texas convinced themselves that it is right for old men to marry and impregnate teenage girls. they have twisted their religious beliefs to accomodate a form of brutality and pedophilia. terrorists think it is the RIGHT THING to pass judgement on and kill people they have never met and know nothing about. the fact that they kill themselves in the process is supposed to make this act okay. politicians think it is the RIGHT THING to tell us all how they think we should behave and pretend that they behave in this way themselves. apparently winking and nodding at us while they engage in behaviours they know is wrong excuses them somehow. if they show us they know it is wrong then that makes them good people.
well it doesn't work that way.
if you want to be a good person--do it and forget about how you can go about making other people into good people too. i remember seeing a sign on the cable car in san franciso--home of the free spirited, unchained beautiful people. the sign told me that if an old person got on the cable car and i didn't stand up to give them my seat i would be fined.
now i am all in favor of standing up and giving my seat to an older person--and i would gladly do it because it is the RIGHT THING. and if i do this in front of other people i serve as a living example of how to act on a cable car. they can then follow this example without being told by someone who (for all i know) has probably never ridden a cable car in their life--or has never given up a seat to an older person and simply wants to exercise their power by dictating a kind of behaviour. While this is an innocuous thing--and certainly a good idea--it pushes the door open to regulating other behaviours. i saw it all over San Francisco--the home of the free spirits and unconfined wonderful people. rules everywhere. i must do the RIGHT THING as it is interpreted by people whose moral compass is completely unknown to me. maybe some crabby old person who is perfectly capable of standing but is too lazy to stand up on the cable car got that law passed. maybe some councilman was trying to increase tax revenue to the city figured there are a lot of rude people riding the cable car and this is easier than ticketing speeders. i don't know. and thats the point. you DON'T KNOW. but each time we mutely accept directives from others as to how we should DO THE RIGHT THING we let a piece of our personal power to direct our own lives slip away and that power slides neatly into their hands instead.
but we have to careful--how do we decide on THE RIGHT THING. its not that hard--its called a conscience. you remember that word. we all had one once. but we have been told and shown in living pictures (TV) that conscience is a sliding scale that we can alter to accomodate our lives. here's a newsflash--thats not true. you know when you do wrong. you may try to convince yourself its right by twising a phrase in the Bible, Koran, or Talmud or by putting the blame for your own bad behaviour on someone else (the naughty bankers told me i could afford to buy this house) or by doing drugs or drinking or having sex too much to push the feelings away. but they are there for a reason--your conscience is there for a reason. it is essential for our survival as a species that we live within a society--especially now that our society has become so diverse and complicated. so your conscience isn't going away--no matter how hard you try to leave it running along behind you like a dumped dog chasing its owner's car. if you go against it, it will find a way to punish you. why not make friends with it instead--and put it where it belongs--in the drivers seat of your behaviour. in order to DO THE RIGHT THING you have to decide for yourself, within the text of your life, your experience and your own best nature--what THE RIGHT THING IS.
Friday, April 3, 2009
How to be kind (some suggestions)
How do you like to be treated? Have you ever thought about it? What makes you get mad at people you have to deal with? I am willing to bet its things like ingratitude, lying to or about you, being bossed around, especially if the person doing the bossing isn't as qualified as you are, being taken for granted, being ignored or treated like some kind of inferior. Its all pretty gross to be on the receiving end of that kind of treatment. So--the big question is--do you treat people that way yourself? I bet you would protest that you don't EVER treat people that way. So let me ask you this--When you go into Wal-mart and the greeter says hello--what do you do? Ignore them and walk on? Why? Someone just spoke to you in a friendly manner and you chose not to acknowledge it. I admit they are being paid for it, but that doesn't matter. You were given a friendly greeting and you acted as if that meant nothing to you. That person speaking meant nothing to you. So next time someone treats you like you aren't there, think of the Wal Mart greeter. Could you do that job without loosing your mind? They CAN do that job that you can't even conceive of doing--so maybe they are a better person than you think.
When you go to a restaurant--what is the name of the waiter or waitress--do you know? I guarantee you their name is not "miss" or "sir" (although these are perfectly respectful ways to address them). I was a waitress, and I was always surprised by the fact that someone actually took the time to read my nametag and remember my name, as if it mattered. Intelligent, aware people do things like that. They distinguish themselves from the ordinary masses by paying attention and having an awareness that a human being is taking their order and bringing their food. Don't think this is important? Think about how you feel when people treat you this way and resolve to be more intelligent and aware of the other people around you. You never know what may happen because of it.
People often tell me "You know the most interesting people". The fact is, I know the same people everybody else does--but I see them as human beings and in treating them as such I learn all sorts of fascinating things about them. I talk to lots of people and actually listen to what they tell me. You would be surprised at what you can learn if you just shut up your mouth and your mind (that is waiting for the next pause in speech to start blabbering away again) and listen carefully to what someone else is saying. Try it sometime. Even in a restaurant--lower your lofty standards and speak to the waitperson--call them by name. Compliment their jewelry, their service, their hair. Be sincere--its not a pickup line. TELL THE TRUTH to the person but tell them a truth that is positive and complimentary. See what happens. When you send good out into the world, it comes back to you. You might well become one of those people who has a great number of "fascinating people" in your life. Which will mean that you are a pretty fascinating person yourself. And isn't that what we would like to be?
When you go to a restaurant--what is the name of the waiter or waitress--do you know? I guarantee you their name is not "miss" or "sir" (although these are perfectly respectful ways to address them). I was a waitress, and I was always surprised by the fact that someone actually took the time to read my nametag and remember my name, as if it mattered. Intelligent, aware people do things like that. They distinguish themselves from the ordinary masses by paying attention and having an awareness that a human being is taking their order and bringing their food. Don't think this is important? Think about how you feel when people treat you this way and resolve to be more intelligent and aware of the other people around you. You never know what may happen because of it.
People often tell me "You know the most interesting people". The fact is, I know the same people everybody else does--but I see them as human beings and in treating them as such I learn all sorts of fascinating things about them. I talk to lots of people and actually listen to what they tell me. You would be surprised at what you can learn if you just shut up your mouth and your mind (that is waiting for the next pause in speech to start blabbering away again) and listen carefully to what someone else is saying. Try it sometime. Even in a restaurant--lower your lofty standards and speak to the waitperson--call them by name. Compliment their jewelry, their service, their hair. Be sincere--its not a pickup line. TELL THE TRUTH to the person but tell them a truth that is positive and complimentary. See what happens. When you send good out into the world, it comes back to you. You might well become one of those people who has a great number of "fascinating people" in your life. Which will mean that you are a pretty fascinating person yourself. And isn't that what we would like to be?
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Welcome to my blog
Maybe this will just be talking to myself. If you have stumbled upon me, hi there. I am glad to make your acquaintance.
The world is in a mess, isn't it? How did we get here? How can we fix it--can it ever be fixed? Are you scared? I am. I am also profoundly disappointed in people in general, and governmental leadership in particular.
Where do we go from here? Do we just put our heads down and slog onward, hoping that a miracle will befall us and things will get better?
The problem I see is that things won't get better until WE get better. Our society is sick and unhappy, lonely and distrustful. The reality you carry around in your head is the reality that ultimately surrounds you. If you look around and wonder how the world got to this state, look in the mirror. You (and I ) have created a part of the whole. No one is to blame--we are all to blame. The flip side of this, is that we can all create the solution--one person at a time--in our own heads. The basic bottom line is that we need to decide at some point, that we will try to do THE RIGHT THING each and every time we have to make a decision. Part of the reason there is so much misery in the world is the fact that a great many people are not doing THE RIGHT THING and they know it. So they prevaricate and rationalize and obfuscate and turn themselves inside out trying to convince anyone remotely around that what they are doing is RIGHT. When they somehow manage to get some positive feedback, they take that as proof that what they know is wrong is actually right, so the voice of conscience is quieted for awhile. How many of you know people that do this? How many of you do this yourself. If you claim you don't do it, you are fairly far along on the road to self delusion. Its human nature. But your inner mind will know the difference, and you won't be happy. Not now, not ever. Sorry to be so blunt about it, but its the truth. If you want to be happier than you are right now, learn to tell yourself the truth. No--its not fun, and sometimes its really really hard. Tough toenails. The world doesn't really care. The truth is the truth, and the sooner we make peace with it, the better off we will be.
That's enough for now. Will write more later.
Tell the truth today. Even if it feels weird. Be gentle and kind if you have to tell a hard truth. But tell the truth ABOUT YOURSELF even if it is only to yourself that you speak.
TELL THE TRUTH
The world is in a mess, isn't it? How did we get here? How can we fix it--can it ever be fixed? Are you scared? I am. I am also profoundly disappointed in people in general, and governmental leadership in particular.
Where do we go from here? Do we just put our heads down and slog onward, hoping that a miracle will befall us and things will get better?
The problem I see is that things won't get better until WE get better. Our society is sick and unhappy, lonely and distrustful. The reality you carry around in your head is the reality that ultimately surrounds you. If you look around and wonder how the world got to this state, look in the mirror. You (and I ) have created a part of the whole. No one is to blame--we are all to blame. The flip side of this, is that we can all create the solution--one person at a time--in our own heads. The basic bottom line is that we need to decide at some point, that we will try to do THE RIGHT THING each and every time we have to make a decision. Part of the reason there is so much misery in the world is the fact that a great many people are not doing THE RIGHT THING and they know it. So they prevaricate and rationalize and obfuscate and turn themselves inside out trying to convince anyone remotely around that what they are doing is RIGHT. When they somehow manage to get some positive feedback, they take that as proof that what they know is wrong is actually right, so the voice of conscience is quieted for awhile. How many of you know people that do this? How many of you do this yourself. If you claim you don't do it, you are fairly far along on the road to self delusion. Its human nature. But your inner mind will know the difference, and you won't be happy. Not now, not ever. Sorry to be so blunt about it, but its the truth. If you want to be happier than you are right now, learn to tell yourself the truth. No--its not fun, and sometimes its really really hard. Tough toenails. The world doesn't really care. The truth is the truth, and the sooner we make peace with it, the better off we will be.
That's enough for now. Will write more later.
Tell the truth today. Even if it feels weird. Be gentle and kind if you have to tell a hard truth. But tell the truth ABOUT YOURSELF even if it is only to yourself that you speak.
TELL THE TRUTH
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